Freedom From Defense Mode

About This Course

"They're shut down, overwhelmed, and hiding in their room most of the time. I've tried everything, and I don't know what to do."

This is it. You've found the key. Getting out of Defense Mode is the key to helping people on the autistic spectrum thrive. Simply put: Someone in who is stuck in Defense Mode is going to struggle for the rest of their life, and may never achieve functional independence. Once someone gets out of Defense Mode, they can easily transition to adulthood and be able to live on their own, have a job, a family, and a stable income.

This course, designed for parents and caretakers of kids on the autistic spectrum, is your step-by-step guide to getting them out of Defense Mode. It is created by people on the Autism spectrum themselves. We explain exactly what goes on in our minds, and why we hide in our rooms. You'll learn how to finally break through to have meaningful conversations, rebuild your relationship, and get them motivated.

This 5-week-long course continuously enrolls to fit your schedule. Each week, starting as soon as you enroll, you'll go through an on-demand set of lessons, and then, every Monday at 2:00 PM Pacific Time (5:00 PM Eastern Time) and every Wednesday at 5:00 PM Pacific Time (8:00 PM Eastern Time), we'll be available on a conference call to take your questions, and help guide you in the right direction.

Includes Group Phone Consults Twice Weekly

For 5 weeks after you purchase the course, you'll get access to our twice weekly question and answer consultation sessions with the AE Staff. This is your chance to get clarification, help with your specific challenges and learn from others. We'll send out the recording to those calls once they are completed.

These calls happen every Monday at 2:00 PM Pacific Time (5:00 PM Eastern Time) and every Wednesday at 5 PM Pacific Time (8:00 PM Eastern Time)

About Asperger Experts

The people at Asperger Experts, who created this course, are the world's largest organization by & for individuals & families on the Autism spectrum. Every day they help thousands of families, teens, young adults & professionals navigate the complex world of Asperger's & Autism with real, first-person accounts & advice from people who've actually lived it and are diagnosed with Asperger's themselves.

In This Course, You'll Learn About...

Understanding What Goes On In Their Mind

We'll show you exactly what goes on in the mind of someone in Defense Mode... because we've been there.

Rebuilding Your Relationship

Step-by-step guidance on how to rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship with someone in Defense Mode.

How To Motivate Them

The best techniques for motivating someone who is shut down (and the worst ones to avoid at all costs).

Getting Them Engaged In The World Again

How to co-create a plan to hold them accountable and get them engaged in the world... without walking on eggshells.

Who Is This Class For?

Great For...

Parents & Caregivers

This course was specifically created for parents, grandparents, & caregivers of people on the autistic spectrum who are in Defense Mode.

Not So Great For...

Autistic People In Defense Mode

Please don't just give this course to someone in Defense Mode and expect something to happen. It is designed for parents.

Class Curriculum

Part 1: Understanding Defense Mode

"It's hard to understand what goes on in their mind sometimes. One moment they are fine, and then the next they are shut down and hiding in their room. Help!"

Topics Include:

What is Defense Mode?

Our definition and how to tell if they are in Defense Mode.

How Does It Work?

Understanding what goes on in the brain and nervous system of someone in Defense Mode.

Understanding The Science

Diving deep into the vagus nerve & the sympathetic nervous system (AKA "The Science-y Bit").

Part 2: Stress & The Person In Defense Mode

"It's so constantly stressful to try to help them. I'm burnt out, and they are too. We are stuck."

Topics Include:

Emotional Resource Theory

Measuring how much more someone can handle in a given day.

Understanding Self Care

Understanding the distinction between self care & entertainment. (Most get this wrong.)

Ways To Relax

Easy, impactful ways to give your nervous system a break and help it get out of a constant mode of checking for threats. (This is called "Faulty Neuroception" in scientific language.)

Part 3: Rebuilding The Relationship

"We hardly have a relationship now. They come out of their room occasionally to say 'Hi', but when I try to ask them a question, all I get in response is an 'I don't know' or a grunt."

Topics Include:

The 4-Part Trust Recipe

Rebuild & strengthen trust through this 4-part recipe.

When to listen & when to talk.

Here's how to know when it is time to listen & let them talk, and when it is time to offer advice that will actually be heard (and not dismissed).

Helping Them Process & Let Go

Step-by-step instructions for having conversations that help them process through past events, let things go, and move on.

Part 4: Capacity & Capability

"It's hard to know when to push, and when to back off and give them space, and I worry that I'm just enabling their behavior further."

Topics Include:

When Is The Environment The Problem?

Sometimes a simple change in the environment eliminates a hidden sensory issue that makes things SO MUCH easier.

Increasing Emotional Capacity

Here's how to help them gain capacity to handle more and do more over time.

Is This Enabling?

How to know if what you are doing will help, or enable the same behaviors and issues.

Part 5: A New Motivation Method

"Motivation is a giant mystery to me. I've tried everything to get them to do their chores and progress in life, but nothing consistently works. I need a new approach."

Topics Include:

What Doesn't Work

Do not, under any circumstances, try these motivation methods unless you want frustration, suffering, and stress.

Making A Motivation Plan That Works

Step-by-step instructions to co-creating a motivation & accountability plan they'll actually use and agree to.

Magic Motivation Methods

Use these methods to easily motivate someone with Asperger's to do their daily chores, homework, or just get out into the world.

Frequently Asked Questions

When does the course start?

The main course is on demand, and you'll get access for life as soon as you enroll. Q&A happens twice weekly, every Monday at 2:00 PM Pacific Time (5:00 PM Eastern Time) and every Wednesday at 5 PM Pacific Time (8:00 PM Eastern Time), and the recordings will be sent to you after.

What devices does the course work on?

We support all modern devices that can access the internet. So that's things like laptops, desktops, iPads & other tablets, smartphones, etc.

You are also welcome to download our free app from your App Store to access your courses and participate in community discussions. Just search "Asperger Experts".

Can I access the class on more than 1 device?

Absolutely. You can login to your account and access the class from any modern device (computer, laptop, tablet, smartphone, etc). You'll have lifetime access to the course materials.

What ages is this course for?

This course is for parents of children aged 7+. It works equally well for kids, teenagers, and young adults.

What happens if I can't make the Q&A calls?

No problem! Just comment below a course lesson or email us at [email protected]. As a reminder, Q&A calls happen every Monday at 2:00 PM Pacific Time (5:00 PM Eastern Time) and every Wednesday at 5 PM Pacific Time (8:00 PM Eastern Time), and the recordings will be sent to you after.

Is this course live or recorded?

This course is a bit of both. The main meat of the course is a series of recorded video lessons that you'll go through over 5 weeks, and have access to for life. The live portion is a Q&A conference call that happens every Monday at 2 PM Pacific Time and Wednesday at 5 PM Pacific Time. If you can't attend the calls, that's okay! Recordings will be sent out after the calls, so that you can listen anytime -- whenever works best for your schedule.

If I'm outside the USA, can I still join the class?

Absolutely! This class is open to anyone worldwide.

Can someone with Asperger's take this class or is it only for parents?

This course is primarily designed for parents and caretakers, and will be exclusively addressing parents. That said, anyone else (including individuals on the spectrum) who just want to learn more about Asperger's and Defense Mode are, of course, still welcome to take this course if they want to.